About my 'twins'. If you've noticed, I hardly ever refer to them as my twins. I usually call them my babies, little brothers, something of that sort. Or by their names, ya know. This is mainly because, well, I don't want them to be know as 'the twins'. Yeah I know....they are. I just don't like the idea of them constantly being grouped together for the rest of their lives. I'm crazy, right? Well not really. If they get in the habit of being called the twins, they will always be called 'the twins'.
Before the babies were born, I thought I'd dress them a like all the time, but after they were born I felt completely different about it. First of all I don't think we could have afforded it. I am seriously, double the formula and diapers totally kicked our butts at first. But, mostly it was because we didn't feel like we should. Aaron and I completely see eye to eye about our children. We understand them in a way that no one else could (well, duh!) And most of the time we'd pick up an outfit we loved and we'd look at each other and say 'That is totally Maxton!' and other outfits 'That would just look so weird on Max, that is such a Bennett shirt!' Ok, yes she is completely crazy. But I'm not. Maybe it goes back to the whole, not wanting them to be grouped together complex that I have. These boys may have shared a womb at the same time, but to us they are less like 'twins' and more like brothers who share a birthday. If you see my boys together, the younger ones don't act like they're more bonded to each other than the are to Hendrix. They all just act like brothers! The all giggle together, fight occasionally, share everything, hug, kiss, slap....anything. It is extremely clear to me that these boys already have an amazing bond and friendship, but they share that with their older brother as well.
Lastly, about my 'twins'. Aaron and I and my mother (who is around enough) all agree, I don't know what I would have done if I had gotten two Bennetts, and I don't know what I would have done if I had gotten two Maxtons. These boys personalities are so hugely different, and they play off each other perfectly. Maxton has a temper, he is quick to scream bloody murder and will let you know how mad he is at you. He goes from hot to cold very quickly. Bennett is much chiller, he doesn't often cry unless he gets hurt or he's tired (or someone else is holding him other than his mother.) but even then it is more of a fuss. BUT, Bennett needs to be cuddled and held more than Max. He always wants to be on
It is pretty cool to see these babies grow up together. I really had a hard time in the beginning because it's hard not to compare the two when you see two children of the exact same age growing up together. Why doesn't Maxton seem as attached to me as Bennett is? Why isn't Bennett walking yet? Things of that sort. I still have to remind myself occasionally via the wise words of both my mother and my doctor. They are two different babies. Two completely different babies. If they were born at different times, years apart, you would never questions their differences.
Becoming a parent of three has really changed my perspective on things. As if simply becoming a parent doesn't do that in itself, raising more than one child at a time puts you in a whole different ball game. Am I being fair? Do they each get equal attention? If Maxton doesn't want to cuddle with me, how do I show him affection? Will Bennett hate me if I let him cry so I can tend to Hendrix? But I think in the end it comes down to this. Each child will be responded to accordingly to their personalities and their needs. Each child is different and you should never expect them to react to things the same and/or need the same things. I am crazy in love with all of my boys, I wouldn't have them any other way, and I think somehow, even as wee little men, they know this. I suppose really, I'm still trying to figure this all out, and I doubt I'll ever really get into a perfect rhythm, but I'll never stop trying.
Anyways....a few thoughts of mine.
